Red Coat is Coming...Around

Red Coat is Coming...Around

By: Sarah Thomas (@sarahdateechur)

Last week, I had the opportunity to accompany some of my sixth grade students to a local camp, at the border of Maryland and Pennsylvania, for four days.  It was an overnight trip in the wilderness, where students learned about the environment and participated in character building activities.  I have gone every year for the past three years, but this time was very different.

Since we are such a small school, our students are often paired up with another group, also from our district located in Maryland.  This year, we were placed with a Title One school.  These girls were very attentive and well-behaved when it came to the environmental lessons, but as we walked from station to station, I overhead such foul language that I had no choice but to say something.

“Excuse me, young lady in the red coat...please clean up your language.”

She looked at me, and said nothing.  However, several minutes later, she resumed her salty talk, to my students.  I tried to give her non-verbal signals to stop, and overheard her calling me a choice word and saying that I need to “fix [my] face.”

I decided to have a talk with her teacher, as well as, with my students to let them know this kind of behavior was not acceptable.

At the first available moment away from “Red Coat” (not her real name), I pulled my girls in, and told them my thoughts about their new friend.

“You all are young women, and no matter what choices anyone else decides to make, you know who you are.  Carry yourself with dignity,” I told them.

“Are you talking about the girl in the red coat?  Yeah, she does too much,” one of my students chimed in.  She then proceeded to recount all of Red Coat’s exploits, regarding her alleged criminal record, and other inappropriate topics.  I cringed, and told my girls to be very careful with their choices of friends.

That night, I reflected on the Red Coat situation.  My student’s words rang through my head. “She does too much...does too much...does too much…”

The more I thought, the more I remembered another girl I used to know about 20 years ago, who also “did too much,” telling far-fetched stories and acting out to become popular.  She thought that shocking people would make her interesting, and found positive reinforcement in a captivated audience.  True, her language was not as dirty, and her stories were not as crazy, but the underlying behavior was the same.

That girl was me.

------------------------------------------------------

In the mid-1990's, I was a book-smart 11-year-old with a very active imagination.  However, I never quite fit in among my peers.  Being one of the few Black girls on the block, and the only Haitian, I was sure to stand out.

My elementary school teachers had often praised me for my academic achievements.  The other kids were another story.  Even back then, it wasn't “cool” to be smart, and by sixth grade, the peer pressure to socialize and blow off school was too strong.  I traded homework for socializing, and for the first time in my life, earned a C on a report card.

My parents weren't very happy with this, but I found that I got even more positive reinforcement from my buddies, and acted out more and more.  I would invent all kinds of crazy stories, although they were not nearly as bad as Red Coat’s.

Once I hit middle school, the downward spiral gained momentum.  My bad grades and off-task behavior became more frequent, and teachers began treating me very differently than to what I had been accustomed.  This, in turn, made me despise school, and care even less about my grades.  My family did all it could to encourage me to do my best, but we all know the saying about leading a horse to water.  Horses are way easier than teenagers.

This all changed at the beginning of junior year.  I don’t know if I can identify the exact moment, but something made me wake up and realize, “Ok, it’s time to get it together.  Colleges are looking.”  Despite my grade point average, which was close to (but not quite) a B average), I was still in the gifted classes, participated in several extracurricular activities, and scored well on the SAT.  When I began speaking with college recruiters about scholarships, I was inspired by the possibility of a full-ride to my dream school, if I could raise my grades.

Senior year, I went all-or-nothing.  Thanks to my five Advanced Placement classes (and their extra grade bump), I ended the year with a 4.0, and graduated with enough to get me the scholarship that I wanted.

Although I was the only person who could decide my fate, I would not have been able to do it, if it were not for my parents.  They were there supporting me the entire time.  They were my biggest advocates, and, while the school system had to deal with problems related to the treatment of its minority population, they fought to make sure that I was receiving the same opportunities as all the other students.

Also supporting me were several influential teachers along the way.  For example, my chorus teacher was one of the few who cared enough to see my potential, and push me toward it.  All four years of high school, he pushed me to do my best, and to go beyond my limits.

My French teacher was another great educator in my life.  Although I was no angel in her class, she saw something in me, and allowed me to be her teaching assistant my senior year.  This was one of the many experiences that inspired me to go into education.

            Although I never took her class, the drama teacher was also very influential.  I worked closely with her after school for all four years on various productions, in different roles.  She sparked my love of acting, and also helped me refine my skills as a scriptwriter and director.  Under her supervision, my original play won fourth place countywide, and helped me attain my scholarship to study Television Production at Howard University.

            So many great teachers, counselors, and faculty members helped shape my eventual journey into education.  After completing my Bachelor’s, I decided to go into the field as well, so that I could do the same for other students.  I wanted to make a difference, and show kids (like me) the value and enjoyment in learning.

------------------------------------------------------

All of a sudden, it hit me.  Red Coat and I were not that different after all.  It was like a mini-me version of Fight Club.

I decided to test my hypothesis, and reach out to this child, instead of pushing her away (and encouraging my kids to do the same).  However, I had to be creative in my approach and have Red Coat warm up to me, before trying to talk to her.

------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I overheard Red Coat in the breakfast line, going off as she did the day before.  I chose to ignore it for the time being, for the sake of my plan.  An hour later, as we were walking through the woods, I noticed that she was hovering around my students, who were hovering around me.  Every now and then, I’d look over at her and smile, and she would smile back.

In our classes, I noticed that Red Coat was very smart, and cared a great deal about the environment.  (Later that day, I reminded my nature-phobic students that they could learn a lot from Red Coat’s positive attitude.)

After lunch, we had a team-building activity.  I led by telling Red Coat that I liked her shirt.  She thanked me.  We had a short conversation, from which I deduced that I was right: she was a nice person, who just had the wrong approach of how to fit in.

In the background, one of my students was displaying her singing ability for the group.  Red Coat and I walked over, and she told my kids about her songwriting hobby.  Within moments, the girls from both schools were singing together.  I was thrilled that they were able to bond over something so positive.

------------------------------------------------------

            At the end of the final night, during the character-building portion of the evening, the camp staff asked all teachers to come to the stage.  Students would then walk by and give high-fives and hugs.  This has always been my favorite night, because it really helps to build a bond with my students.  As my kids made it through, and gave me big bear hugs, I surprisingly was able to maintain dry eyes.  But imagine my surprise when, all of a sudden, Red Coat gave me the biggest hug of all.

            I hugged her back, and told her that she is a nice person, and to let her light shine.  She nodded her head. Hopefully, she understood what I truly meant.

------------------------------------------------------

            My one big take-away from the trip is that Red Coat reminded me what it’s like to be in the 6th grade.  I have told my students too many times that I wish I could go back to being their age.  However, now that I think about it, being a kid is not as easy as it seems.  Now, I return to the “real world” with a better understanding of my students and their peers.  Thanks, Red Coat, for teaching @sarahdateechur.