Red Coat is Coming...Around
By: Sarah Thomas (@sarahdateechur)
Last week, I had the
opportunity to accompany some of my sixth grade students to a local camp, at
the border of Maryland and Pennsylvania, for four days. It was an overnight trip in the wilderness,
where students learned about the environment and participated in character
building activities. I have gone every
year for the past three years, but this time was very different.
Since we are such a
small school, our students are often paired up with another group, also from
our district located in Maryland. This
year, we were placed with a Title One school.
These girls were very attentive and well-behaved when it came to the
environmental lessons, but as we walked from station to station, I overhead
such foul language that I had no choice but to say something.
“Excuse me, young lady
in the red coat...please clean up your language.”
She looked at me, and
said nothing. However, several minutes
later, she resumed her salty talk, to my students. I tried to give her non-verbal signals to
stop, and overheard her calling me a choice word and saying that I need to “fix
[my] face.”
I decided to have a
talk with her teacher, as well as, with my students to let them know this kind
of behavior was not acceptable.
At the first available
moment away from “Red Coat” (not her real name), I pulled my girls in, and told
them my thoughts about their new friend.
“You all are young
women, and no matter what choices anyone else decides to make, you know who you
are. Carry yourself with dignity,” I
told them.
“Are you talking about
the girl in the red coat? Yeah, she does
too much,” one of my students chimed in.
She then proceeded to recount all of Red Coat’s exploits, regarding her
alleged criminal record, and other inappropriate topics. I cringed, and told my girls to be very careful
with their choices of friends.
That night, I reflected
on the Red Coat situation. My student’s
words rang through my head. “She does too
much...does too much...does too much…”
The more I thought, the
more I remembered another girl I used to know about 20 years ago, who also “did
too much,” telling far-fetched stories and acting out to become popular. She thought that shocking people would make
her interesting, and found positive reinforcement in a captivated audience. True, her language was not as dirty, and her
stories were not as crazy, but the underlying behavior was the same.
That
girl was me.
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In the mid-1990's, I was
a book-smart 11-year-old with a very active imagination. However, I never quite fit in among my
peers. Being one of the few Black girls
on the block, and the only Haitian, I was sure to stand out.
My elementary school
teachers had often praised me for my academic achievements. The other kids were another story. Even back then, it wasn't “cool” to be smart,
and by sixth grade, the peer pressure to socialize and blow off school was too
strong. I traded homework for socializing,
and for the first time in my life, earned a C on a report card.
My parents weren't very
happy with this, but I found that I got even more positive reinforcement from
my buddies, and acted out more and more.
I would invent all kinds of crazy stories, although they were not nearly
as bad as Red Coat’s.
Once I hit middle
school, the downward spiral gained momentum.
My bad grades and off-task behavior became more frequent, and teachers
began treating me very differently than to what I had been accustomed. This, in turn, made me despise school, and
care even less about my grades. My
family did all it could to encourage me to do my best, but we all know the
saying about leading a horse to water.
Horses are way easier than teenagers.
This all changed at the
beginning of junior year. I don’t know
if I can identify the exact moment, but something made me wake up and realize,
“Ok, it’s time to get it together.
Colleges are looking.” Despite my
grade point average, which was close to (but not quite) a B average), I was
still in the gifted classes, participated in several extracurricular
activities, and scored well on the SAT.
When I began speaking with college recruiters about scholarships, I was
inspired by the possibility of a full-ride to my dream school, if I could raise
my grades.
Senior year, I went
all-or-nothing. Thanks to my five
Advanced Placement classes (and their extra grade bump), I ended the year with
a 4.0, and graduated with enough to get me the scholarship that I wanted.
Although I was the only
person who could decide my fate, I would not have been able to do it, if it
were not for my parents. They were there
supporting me the entire time. They were
my biggest advocates, and, while the school system had to deal with problems
related to the treatment of its minority population, they fought to make sure
that I was receiving the same opportunities as all the other students.
Also supporting me were
several influential teachers along the way.
For example, my chorus teacher was one of the few who cared enough to
see my potential, and push me toward it.
All four years of high school, he pushed me to do my best, and to go
beyond my limits.
My French teacher was another great educator in my
life. Although I was no angel in her
class, she saw something in me, and allowed me to be her teaching assistant my
senior year. This was one of the many
experiences that inspired me to go into education.
Although I never took her class, the drama
teacher was also very influential. I
worked closely with her after school for all four years on various productions,
in different roles. She sparked my love
of acting, and also helped me refine my skills as a scriptwriter and
director. Under her supervision, my
original play won fourth place countywide, and helped me attain my scholarship
to study Television Production at Howard University.
So many great teachers, counselors, and
faculty members helped shape my eventual journey into education. After completing my Bachelor’s, I decided to
go into the field as well, so that I could do the same for other students. I wanted to make a difference, and show kids
(like me) the value and enjoyment in learning.
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All of a sudden, it hit
me. Red Coat and I were not that
different after all. It was like a mini-me
version of Fight Club.
I decided to test my
hypothesis, and reach out to this child, instead of pushing her away (and
encouraging my kids to do the same).
However, I had to be creative in my approach and have Red Coat warm up
to me, before trying to talk to her.
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The next morning, I
overheard Red Coat in the breakfast line, going off as she did the day
before. I chose to ignore it for the
time being, for the sake of my plan. An
hour later, as we were walking through the woods, I noticed that she was
hovering around my students, who were hovering around me. Every now and then, I’d look over at her and
smile, and she would smile back.
In our classes, I
noticed that Red Coat was very smart, and cared a great deal about the
environment. (Later that day, I reminded
my nature-phobic students that they could learn a lot from Red Coat’s positive
attitude.)
After lunch, we had a
team-building activity. I led by telling
Red Coat that I liked her shirt. She
thanked me. We had a short conversation,
from which I deduced that I was right: she was a nice person, who just had the
wrong approach of how to fit in.
In the background, one of my students was displaying
her singing ability for the group. Red
Coat and I walked over, and she told my kids about her songwriting hobby. Within moments, the girls from both schools
were singing together. I was thrilled
that they were able to bond over something so positive.
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At the end of the final night, during the
character-building portion of the evening, the camp staff asked all teachers to
come to the stage. Students would then
walk by and give high-fives and hugs.
This has always been my favorite night, because it really helps to build
a bond with my students. As my kids made
it through, and gave me big bear hugs, I surprisingly was able to maintain dry
eyes. But imagine my surprise when, all
of a sudden, Red Coat gave me the biggest hug of all.
I hugged her back, and told her that she is
a nice person, and to let her light shine.
She nodded her head. Hopefully, she understood what I truly meant.
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My one big take-away from the trip is that
Red Coat reminded me what it’s like to be in the 6th grade. I have told my students too many times that I
wish I could go back to being their age.
However, now that I think about it, being a kid is not as easy as it
seems. Now, I return to the “real world”
with a better understanding of my students and their peers. Thanks, Red Coat, for teaching
@sarahdateechur.
